NBA SIMS LEAGUE Power Ranking - Power Ranking - Fast Food
| Rank | Rating | Team | Record | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
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1 (3) | 92 | Mil |  |
10-2 Mil 117, Por 100 W Mil 113, Cle 98 W NY 105, Mil 103 L Orl 91, Mil 108 W Mil 92, Cha 94 L Mil 110, Chi 103 W Ind 93, Mil 116 W Bos 100, Mil 121 W Mil 129, Bos 113 W Mem 88, Mil 105 W Hou 106, Mil 116 W Mil 117, Orl 99 W |
The Big Mac – The Bucks resemble the Big Mac, packed with layers and topped off with some special sauce (SGA). Just like the Big Mac’s classic depth, the Bucks’ roster is deep, and SGA is that special ingredient; reliable, exciting, and a key piece to build around. |
| 2 (2) | 90 | LAL |  |
11-2 OKC 122, LAL 113 L LAL 110, Mia 92 W Cle 110, LAL 112 W LAL 111, NO 106 W GS 97, LAL 102 W LAL 101, SA 94 W Pho 82, LAL 95 W LAL 102, Phi 96 W LAL 102, Mem 95 W LAL 118, Sac 110 W Tor 86, LAL 109 W LAL 109, NO 116 L LAL 114, Mem 109 W |
The Whopper – A staple, just like the Lakers at the top of the rankings. They've got all the right ingredients. They're big, physical, and deep, with Cade and Kawhi as the key ingredients, making them tough to stop when they’re on a roll. | |
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3 (11) | 77 | OKC |  |
9-3 OKC 114, Bos 122 L OKC 122, LAL 113 W SA 98, OKC 97 L OKC 110, Phi 104 W OKC 123, NO 116 W OKC 117, Sac 119 L OKC 122, Orl 107 W Atl 102, OKC 120 W LAC 105, OKC 112 W OKC 112, Hou 90 W OKC 108, Min 89 W Utah 102, OKC 109 W |
KFC Original Recipe Chicken – As iconic as they come, with 11 secret herbs and spices that make it a classic, just like the dynamic pairing of Anthony Edwards and Steph Curry. A versatile duo, always ready to deliver when it counts. |
| 4 (4) | 76 | Mia |  |
9-3 Mia 116, Bkn 99 W Mia 111, Ind 94 W LAL 110, Mia 92 L Det 113, Mia 118 W Mia 109, Atl 96 W Mia 122, Hou 120 W Mia 118, Bos 92 W Bkn 89, Mia 117 W Mia 94, Min 119 L NY 103, Mia 112 W Orl 105, Mia 112 W Cle 101, Mia 97 L |
Spicy Deluxe (Chik-Fil-A) - The Spicy Deluxe is arguably my all time favourite chicken burger / sandwhich. The Heat are as spicy as they come lately, climbing their way up the standings and pistol shooting off some spicy takes to match. | |
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5 (9) | 71 | Den |  |
9-3 Hou 129, Den 134 W Den 106, Utah 108 L Min 104, Den 97 L Den 116, Cha 111 W Den 112, Mem 105 W Atl 107, Den 112 W Den 119, GS 116 W Utah 113, Den 92 L Den 98, SA 89 W Por 89, Den 107 W Den 107, LAC 97 W Den 111, NY 101 W |
Chicken Nuggets – Maybe a little pun intended, but much like a 10-piece of nuggets, Denver is deep, with plenty of options to dip and dunk their way through any game. They've been climbing the standings lately, and if everything clicks, this could be the year the Nuggets finally make their move. |
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6 (7) | 68 | Min |  |
8-4 Min 107, Atl 112 L Hou 99, Min 117 W Min 104, Den 97 W Por 96, Min 106 W Phi 89, Min 98 W GS 88, Min 95 W Min 93, Cha 85 W Min 108, Por 114 L Mia 94, Min 119 W OKC 108, Min 89 L Min 115, Pho 94 W Min 101, Utah 110 L |
Burrito – A burrito is made up of two key components - the meat and the tortilla. Jimmy is the meat, while Davis is the tortilla, holding everything together. The rest of the Wolves’ roster? They're the perfect complimentary ingredients, adding just the right flavour to make it all work. |
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7 (1) | 68 | SA |  |
8-4 Bkn 94, SA 115 W SA 98, OKC 97 W SA 104, GS 103 W Pho 106, SA 111 W Utah 108, SA 118 W NY 97, SA 114 W LAL 101, SA 94 L SA 113, Cle 96 W SA 100, Phi 104 L SA 117, Sac 101 W Was 105, SA 102 L Den 98, SA 89 L |
The Cheeseburger - Everybody loves a cheeseburger, just like everybody loves Giannis. He’s the juicy patty at the center, and GM Nels has been busy all season layering on the perfect toppings through trades, finally serving up a fully stacked contender just in time for a late-season feast. |
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8 (12) | 67 | Det |  |
8-4 Utah 112, Det 102 L Det 107, Cha 112 L Orl 91, Det 109 W Det 113, Mia 118 L Pho 89, Det 106 W LAC 109, Det 112 W Det 115, Orl 110 W Det 105, Tor 102 W Mem 98, Det 112 W Bkn 101, Det 109 W Det 111, Pho 96 W Det 106, Was 113 L |
French Fries – Much like a fry, Sheed has a habit of disappearing just when you’re craving more. But don’t let that fool you, his NSL resume is quietly elite, stacked with success that rivals the best. Curly fries might be even more fitting now, considering Trae Young’s hair has joined the mix. |
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9 (10) | 65 | Cle |  |
8-4 Cle 126, Tor 122 W Mil 113, Cle 98 L Cle 110, LAL 112 L NO 104, Cle 99 L Dal 99, Cle 112 W LAC 108, Cle 114 W SA 113, Cle 96 L Cle 105, Mem 98 W Cle 108, Chi 96 W Cha 86, Cle 105 W Cle 101, Mia 97 W Cle 110, LAC 92 W |
McChicken – The Cavaliers are the McChicken of the NSL; elite, consistent, and always a solid choice. They’ve built a young, successful roster that hits all the check marks, but with their main man missing, they might come up just short this season. |
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10 (6) | 65 | Utah |  |
8-4 Utah 109, Ind 107 W Utah 112, Det 102 W Den 106, Utah 108 W NO 95, Utah 102 W Utah 108, SA 118 L Was 118, Utah 110 L Utah 113, Den 92 W Dal 90, Utah 100 W Utah 126, Hou 104 W GS 115, Utah 105 L Min 101, Utah 110 W Utah 102, OKC 109 L |
Meat Lover’s Pizza – The Jazz are as deep as it gets, like a meatlovers pizza piled high with every topping. But without their pepperoni in Joel Embiid, something’s missing. Still, they’re grinding out wins and if they avoid further injury trouble, they'll make a deep run. |
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11 (22) | 64 | Was |  |
8-5 Was 87, Phi 102 L NY 96, Was 111 W Was 101, Dal 111 L Ind 101, Was 108 W Ind 103, Was 110 W Hou 125, Was 110 L Was 118, Utah 110 W Was 122, Bos 129 L Was 115, Tor 106 W Bos 121, Was 112 L Was 105, SA 102 W Det 106, Was 113 W Was 106, Orl 83 W |
Supreme Pizza – The Supreme Pizza has all the toppings, just like the Wizards. With elite guard play, a top 5 superstar in LeBron, and a fantastic frontcourt, they’ve got every ingredient to be a threat night in and night out. It's the perfect blend of talent that, when fully dialed in, can be unstoppable. |
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12 (21) | 60 | Cha |  |
7-5 Det 107, Cha 112 W Cha 109, Orl 84 W Atl 99, Cha 113 W Den 116, Cha 111 L Mil 92, Cha 94 W GS 109, Cha 89 L Min 93, Cha 85 L Cha 113, Bos 114 L Cha 118, Pho 101 W Cha 86, Cle 105 L Chi 77, Cha 100 W Cha 111, Phi 87 W |
The Kebab - The kebab is at its peak after a night out—greasy, glorious, and full of flavour when everything is stacked just right. The Hornets at full strength are that post-party masterpiece, every ingredient clicking, but take one piece away and you’re just left craving what could’ve been. |
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13 (18) | 58 | Bos |  |
8-4 OKC 114, Bos 122 W Bos 115, Chi 108 W Bos 118, Atl 116 W Sac 110, Bos 116 W Mia 118, Bos 92 L Bos 100, Mil 121 L Was 122, Bos 129 W Cha 113, Bos 114 W Bos 121, Was 112 W Mil 129, Bos 113 L Bos 122, Tor 113 W Ind 117, Bos 100 L |
Shake Shack – The Boston Celtics resemble Shake Shack, an above-average burger joint with plenty of delicious options. Their menu (and roster) runs deep, but sometimes it feels like they need to trim it down (condense) and focus on what really delivers. |
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14 (17) | 53 | Atl |  |
7-6 Min 107, Atl 112 W Bos 118, Atl 116 L Tor 108, Atl 110 W Atl 99, Cha 113 L NY 108, Atl 94 L Mia 109, Atl 96 L Atl 107, Den 112 L Atl 114, Tor 89 W Atl 102, OKC 120 L Atl 115, GS 108 W Bkn 97, Atl 107 W Atl 101, Por 96 W Atl 113, NO 96 W |
Cheese Pizza - Cheese pizza is always a safe option; simple, predictable, and satisfying. But it lacks the versatility and upside that could take it to the next level, much like a Hawks team that has promise but limited future star potential as of right now. |
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15 (8) | 50 | GS |  |
6-7 GS 115, Por 103 W SA 104, GS 103 L GS 101, Dal 105 L Chi 97, GS 113 W GS 109, Cha 89 W GS 88, Min 95 L GS 97, LAL 102 L Dal 108, GS 114 W Den 119, GS 116 L Atl 115, GS 108 L GS 115, NY 103 W GS 99, Ind 103 L GS 115, Utah 105 W |
Wingstop – One of the fastest growing food chains in America, Wingstop has quickly become a bit of a powerhouse. This mirrors the Warriors, who’ve gone from cellar dwellers to a team that demands respect every night. Their rapid rise is undeniable, and just like Wingstop’s stock, the Warriors’ future is looking brighter every day. |
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16 (19) | 49 | NO |  |
6-6 NO 104, Cle 99 W NO 109, Bkn 95 W NO 95, Utah 102 L LAL 111, NO 106 L NO 115, Orl 90 W NO 106, Sac 112 L OKC 123, NO 116 L Chi 117, NO 114 L Dal 100, NO 108 W LAL 109, NO 116 W NO 123, Ind 103 W Atl 113, NO 96 L |
Crunchwrap Supreme – Probably a top 5 fast food item for me personally, and that’s how we land here. Luka is a top 5 player and would be one of the best to build around. Much like the Crunchwrap Supreme, he’s the tortilla that holds it all together, versatile and can adapt to whatever situation he is facing. |
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17 (14) | 48 | Phi |  |
6-6 Bkn 99, Phi 107 W Was 87, Phi 102 W Phi 109, LAC 92 W OKC 110, Phi 104 L Phi 89, Min 98 L Phi 101, NY 112 L LAL 102, Phi 96 L Hou 111, Phi 116 W SA 100, Phi 104 W Orl 89, Phi 99 W Phi 92, Bkn 94 L Cha 111, Phi 87 L |
Hard Shell Taco – When fully intact, they look elite; stacked, tasty, and ready to win. But this season, the shell has crumbled, and it’s been tough to piece it all back together. At full health, though, they’re as good as it gets messy, but dangerous. |
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18 (5) | 44 | Pho |  |
6-6 Pho 120, Ind 113 W Por 98, Pho 115 W LAC 102, Pho 106 W Pho 106, SA 111 L Pho 89, Det 106 L Bkn 101, Pho 108 W Pho 82, LAL 95 L Por 102, Pho 112 W Cha 118, Pho 101 L Pho 107, Chi 90 W Min 115, Pho 94 L Det 111, Pho 96 L |
Zinger – Much like a Zinger, Laddas is packed with heat and isn’t shy about sharing his spicy takes. The Suns have that same punch, and if they can get Dame back, they’ll be a real threat in the postseason. |
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19 (16) | 36 | Sac |  |
5-7 Tor 109, Sac 101 L Dal 121, Sac 107 L Sac 107, Chi 115 L Sac 110, Bos 116 L Sac 108, Hou 119 L NO 106, Sac 112 W OKC 117, Sac 119 W Sac 119, Por 112 W SA 117, Sac 101 L LAL 118, Sac 110 L Sac 120, Por 108 W Bkn 103, Sac 113 W |
Wendy’s – Had to give this one to Klemm, purely off the back of Wendy’s Twitter. Not afraid to take a cheeky jab and always backing their crew. If that’s not Klemm, I don’t know what is. Loves his Kings nearly as much as he loves to stir the pot, the league wouldn’t be the same without him causing a bit of a stir. |
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20 (26) | 35 | Ind |  |
5-7 Utah 109, Ind 107 L Pho 120, Ind 113 L Mia 111, Ind 94 L Ind 101, Was 108 L Ind 110, Chi 103 W Ind 103, Was 110 L Ind 93, Mil 116 L Tor 103, Ind 113 W Ind 111, NY 89 W GS 99, Ind 103 W NO 123, Ind 103 L Ind 117, Bos 100 W |
The Hotdog – What’s a hotdog without the frankfurt? Just a sad bun with some questionable sauce. That’s kind of what the Pacers are right now with them missing their key piece, and until they get that frankfurt back, they’re just not serving up a complete meal. |
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21 (13) | 33 | NY |  |
5-8 NY 96, Was 111 L NY 105, Mil 103 W Tor 101, NY 109 W NY 106, Hou 101 W NY 108, Atl 94 W NY 97, SA 114 L LAC 97, NY 96 L Phi 101, NY 112 W NY 92, Mem 102 L NY 103, Mia 112 L Ind 111, NY 89 L GS 115, NY 103 L Den 111, NY 101 L |
New York Slice – Known and loved around the world, just like Smokey. His NSL lore is legendary, from outrageous lottery luck to building one of the league’s finest young rosters. A classic that never goes out of style, and everyone loves a good slice. |
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22 (23) | 30 | Mem |  |
4-8 Mem 114, Hou 107 W Orl 91, Mem 109 W Mem 109, LAC 111 L Chi 106, Mem 96 L Mem 115, Dal 94 W Den 112, Mem 105 L LAL 102, Mem 95 L Cle 105, Mem 98 L NY 92, Mem 102 W Mem 98, Det 112 L Mem 88, Mil 105 L LAL 114, Mem 109 L |
Rooster Roll – Memphis are the Rooster Roll of the NSL. Looks promising at first glance, maybe even gets you a bit excited, but once you take a bite, it’s just… average. The roster has the ingredients, but for now, they’re just treading water, maybe waiting for that sweet sweet PF eligibility for Bam. |
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23 (20) | 27 | Dal |  |
4-8 Dal 121, Sac 107 W Was 101, Dal 111 W LAC 97, Dal 115 W GS 101, Dal 105 W Dal 99, Cle 112 L Mem 115, Dal 94 L Dal 108, GS 114 L Dal 90, Utah 100 L Dal 100, NO 108 L Dal 88, Orl 104 L Dal 91, Tor 104 L LAC 94, Dal 85 L |
Whataburger – Only found in Texas, much like LJ, who’s only found in Smokey trades. Whataburger is well-known and beloved, just as LJ is a key part of the NSL, always appreciated for what he brings to the table. |
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24 (27) | 25 | LAC |  |
4-8 Phi 109, LAC 92 L LAC 97, Dal 115 L Mem 109, LAC 111 W LAC 102, Pho 106 L LAC 109, Det 112 L LAC 97, NY 96 W LAC 108, Cle 114 L Por 98, LAC 107 W LAC 105, OKC 112 L Den 107, LAC 97 L LAC 94, Dal 85 W Cle 110, LAC 92 L |
In-N-Out – A California classic, much like Andrew, he will pop IN to a thread and be OUT just as quickly, disappearing for a while. His Clippers have young talent and promise, and it’ll be exciting to see where the build goes from here! |
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25 (15) | 24 | Chi |  |
4-8 Bos 115, Chi 108 L Sac 107, Chi 115 W Chi 106, Mem 96 W Chi 97, GS 113 L Ind 110, Chi 103 L Mil 110, Chi 103 L Chi 105, Bkn 94 W Chi 117, NO 114 W Por 112, Chi 108 L Cle 108, Chi 96 L Pho 107, Chi 90 L Chi 77, Cha 100 L |
Deep Dish – Deep dish feels fitting for Chicago; hearty, warm, and packed with flavour. Think of LaMelo and Pascal as the filling and toppings, while GM Jonathon sees Jalen Suggs as the crust that holds it all together. It’ll be interesting to see how they fare this postseason without their "crust" to keep everything intact. |
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26 (24) | 16 | Tor |  |
3-10 Cle 126, Tor 122 L Tor 109, Sac 101 W Tor 108, Atl 110 L Tor 101, NY 109 L Orl 116, Tor 109 L Tor 103, Ind 113 L Atl 114, Tor 89 L Det 105, Tor 102 L Was 115, Tor 106 L Bos 122, Tor 113 L Dal 91, Tor 104 W Tor 116, Hou 105 W Tor 86, LAL 109 L |
Poutine – It only feels right that the Toronto Raptors resemble poutine. Like this classic Canadian dish, they’ve got all the right ingredients; crispy fries, rich gravy, and cheese. However, without the right balance, it’s just a messy pile of junk food. Right now, the Raptors are still figuring out the perfect mix, but when they get it together, they’ll be serving up a dish that’s hot, satisfying, and hard to beat. |
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27 (28) | 14 | Por |  |
3-10 Mil 117, Por 100 L Por 98, Pho 115 L GS 115, Por 103 L Por 96, Min 106 L Bkn 106, Por 110 W Por 98, LAC 107 L Min 108, Por 114 W Por 102, Pho 112 L Sac 119, Por 112 L Por 112, Chi 108 W Sac 120, Por 108 L Por 89, Den 107 L Atl 101, Por 96 L |
Popeyes – Popeyes represent Portland in that they’re a bit of a sleeping giant. The chicken (GM) is elite, and while the current meal might not blow you away, the future menu is stacked. When the time’s right, they’ll be cooked, crispy, and ready for international expansion. |
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28 (25) | 8 | Hou |  |
2-10 Mem 114, Hou 107 L Hou 129, Den 134 L Hou 99, Min 117 L NY 106, Hou 101 L Sac 108, Hou 119 W Mia 122, Hou 120 L Hou 125, Was 110 W Hou 111, Phi 116 L OKC 112, Hou 90 L Utah 126, Hou 104 L Tor 116, Hou 105 L Hou 106, Mil 116 L |
3 Piece Chicken – Houston’s roster is like a 3-piece meal from KFC. But it’s like the drive-thru attendant forgot the chips and the drink; they’ve got the main ingredients, but they’re still missing the sides that turn it into a full meal. |
| 29 (29) | 0 | Orl |  |
2-11 Orl 91, Det 109 L Orl 91, Mem 109 L Cha 109, Orl 84 L Orl 91, Mil 108 L NO 115, Orl 90 L Orl 116, Tor 109 W OKC 122, Orl 107 L Det 115, Orl 110 L Dal 88, Orl 104 W Orl 89, Phi 99 L Orl 105, Mia 112 L Mil 117, Orl 99 L Was 106, Orl 83 L |
Auntie Anne's Pretzels – Orlando’s been busy this year, but their roster resembles a pretzel; twisted and soft in the middle. The need for a big man to anchor the paint has been obvious since the Allen trade, and this offseason could be key in seeing if they can undo that knot and reshape their future. | |
| 30 (30) | -5 | Bkn |  |
1-11 Bkn 99, Phi 107 L Mia 116, Bkn 99 L Bkn 94, SA 115 L NO 109, Bkn 95 L Bkn 106, Por 110 L Chi 105, Bkn 94 L Bkn 101, Pho 108 L Bkn 89, Mia 117 L Bkn 101, Det 109 L Bkn 97, Atl 107 L Bkn 103, Sac 113 L Phi 92, Bkn 94 W |
Mos Burger – No offence, but… has anyone actually eaten at a Mos Burger? It’s a bit like Brooklyn right now, lurking at the bottom of the rankings. I believe Brooklyn have what it takes to right the ship this offseason. Breece has made some strides this year to change up the roster, which has been great to see. Winning will come! |
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| Comments (1) | |||
| pistolpk 04/16 10:39 am | Nice work, original idea | ||