Portland Trail Blazers - Power Ranking

Week Rank Rating Team Record Comment

15 25 23 Por 4-8 "Call Me" by Blondie Featured in the film American Gigolo, "Call Me" is a high-energy track that captures the allure and excitement of spontaneous romantic encounters. The lyrics convey a sense of urgency and desire, emphasizing the thrill of living in the moment and embracing passionate connections. A Giglio of NSL Championships some have said about the Portlands GM. A winner by nature and a winner by force. This is a reference to Portlands antics to close the trade deadline, working the phones like a madman to build his “harem” of first round picks the likes which has never been seen any the league before.

14 25 22 Por 4-8 25. Portland Trail Blazers (Ethiopia) The Trail Blazers' 'ancient history' mirrors Ethiopia's rich cultural past, striving to 'reclaim' their former 'economic glory' through 'agricultural development' of homegrown talent. Growing they are looking to do, they have a stock of seeds (draft assets) in the bank, and have completed the most extreme flip in NSL history. Will the former kingdom be constructed?

13 27 10 Por 3-9 Coercion- Who says a murder weapon needs to be a physical tool? This mastermind has been killing the league for years and somehow keeps getting away with it. While the Blazers aren't at the top of this list, they're plotting and scheming and will almost certainly be back up there in a short period of time after going into hiding this season. Who knows who the next victim will be and who knows who will pull the trigger, but once the full story is told we will probably find out the Blazers had a hand in it.

12 25 18 Por 4-8 Portland Trail Blazers "Graduation Song" – Vitamin C(1992) Known more for its use at graduation ceremonies, the song has become pigeonholed. Portland have been maligned of late too, mainly through annoyance and trade block/trade talk appearances. The Blazers have all the nutrients and vitamins they need to simmer out of the discussions and look towards the draft. GM JMac has been relentless in his flipping of his assets, and as we go on we remember each of those players - “Roll the in-memorium”

11 27 12 Por 3-9 Portland Trail Blazers: The Ghoul Horde 💀🩸 Why? The Trail Blazers shamble like a pack of ravenous Ghouls – undead scavengers who overwhelm foes with frenzied aggression, opportunistic strikes, and a hunger to feast on the weak. Their roster lacks a true alpha, but their collective desperation and youthful energy mirror the Ghoul’s paralyzing chaos. Ghoul Patriarch (Bradley Beal) 🧟♂️: Beal is the decaying pack leader, lurching into action with mid-range jumpers and erratic bursts of scoring. Ravenous Pack (Mid-Tier Hunters): Jaden Ivey and Keegan Murray nip at ankles with raw speed and untamed potential. Ivey’s drives are feral lunges; Murray’s threes are gnarled claws raking from the shadows. Rotting Flesh (Depth): Marvin Bagley III and Jarace Walker lumber like half-decayed thralls, gobbling rebounds and clogging lanes. Rookie Ulrich Chomche is a skeletal fledgling, gnawing at scraps of playing time.

10 25 15 Por 3-9 The Trailblazers (Louis and Clarke) - As a history nut, I love a good story, even better a story of immense brain, and idiocy. Louis and Clark were ultimately successful and unsuccessful at the same time - they managed to achieve in the pursuit of developing expansion from East to West. Everything in between with both hilarious and disastrous. This smells of Portland this year - they have been glamourous in the pursuits of expanding their personal empire and creating new pathways for untapped exploration. Louis and Clark found it tough going, largely leaning on the efforts of Native Americans, who largely pittied the 'explorers'. This is where comparison ends - no one pitties the Portland Trailblazers; they have chartered their course and know all the means to do it.

9 27 6 Por 2-10 Ramsey Bolton - Another brilliantly portrayed characters, whose sick and twisted mind was on full display when he brutally tortured and moulded Theon into his own little pet, Reke. His demise came in a fitting fashion, by another one that he had his fun tormenting in Sansa Stark. Side note; if anyone has watched another show, The Misfits, the actor is great in that too!

8 21 28 Por 4-8

7 23 27 Por 4-8 Goldilocks - Portland A curious troublemaker, with impeccable survival instincts.Portland have a ‘just right’ situation here. They continue to make moves and decisions to benefit their future. This season is the making of them, as they continue to search for the glamorous side of trades - poised to win the Flagg Sweepstakes. Portland sit 24th in the Power Rankings, and are happy to break into the house of anyone without fear. Don’t be suckered in by the golden curls, this little girl isn’t here for a casual visit, she has trouble on her mind.

6 26 16 Por 3-9 Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story) - The iconic character that symbolises Pixar along with Woody, Buzz Lightyear was built to perform at the highest level. Buzz felt he was born to be important, born to be the best and born to save the world (from the evil emperor, Zurg). Buzz was the coolest toy in the room. He himself thought that anything was possible, and that he could never be bested. However, through his interactions with others and difficult circumstances that present, Buzz's mortality is confirmed and his ego and perception of himself is ripped apart (like his arm). "DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME, I'M MRS NESBITT!" He can't do the things he once (thought he) could. He couldn't command the same audience, couldn't fight all the battles on his own. However, what he learned over time was that being a part of a collective provides much more possibility and fulfullment than standing opposite, on your own.

5 26 14 Por 3-9 The Death Entity (Final Destination) - What do you say about this team…? The Portland Trailblazers are a dominant, unstoppable force, like the Death Entity that relentlessly pursues its victims, no matter how they try to avoid their fate. The Trailblazers wait in the wings - waiting to feast on the fate of the league. A powerful and relentless organisation; an inescapable force—once they start rolling, it’s hard to stop them. The currently sit idle with a record of 3-9, boosting their future prospects and stashing talent. “Death doesn’t take no for an answer.”

4 26 24 Por 4-8 Jordan Belfort - The Wolf of Wall Street. Based on a true story, this larger than life character is a captivating watch. Belfort who is a self made man, who changed the wall street industry by bending a lot of the rules. The ever-growing wealth led to more and bigger shenanigans. The accumulation of wealth by Belfort by ripping of people on the stock market, kind of reminds me of Portland ripping of people on the trade market and somehow getting at least a first no matter who he is sending out.

3 16 45 Por 6-7 Blazers finished week 3 with a 6-7 record. Which is fitting given that they also acquire 6-7 first round picks every few weeks.

2 18 31 Por 4-5 "Rich Girl"- Hall and Oates- Just flip it from girl to guy for this analogy, nobody is richer in the league than JMac with 1st round pick totals getting close to 30, he also has a decent team and they're not some bottom feeders like he acted they would be.

1 20 15 Por 2-3 Portland are just making up the numbers and wagging their tail at anything that shows interest in making some trades. Fans are very excited about Jaden Ivey, Keegan Murray and Anthony Black; the youngsters are ushering in the first ever rebuild era for Portland (in any of the leagues).

	GS	113
	CHI	97

	NO	106
	LAL	111

	CHA	111
	DEN	116

	BOS	116
	SAC	110

	MIN	106
	POR	96

Week	Rank	Rating	Team	Record	Comment
15	25	23	Por	4-8	"Call Me" by Blondie Featured in the film American Gigolo, "Call Me" is a high-energy track that captures the allure and excitement of spontaneous romantic encounters. The lyrics convey a sense of urgency and desire, emphasizing the thrill of living in the moment and embracing passionate connections. A Giglio of NSL Championships some have said about the Portlands GM. A winner by nature and a winner by force. This is a reference to Portlands antics to close the trade deadline, working the phones like a madman to build his “harem” of first round picks the likes which has never been seen any the league before.
14	25	22	Por	4-8	25. Portland Trail Blazers (Ethiopia) The Trail Blazers' 'ancient history' mirrors Ethiopia's rich cultural past, striving to 'reclaim' their former 'economic glory' through 'agricultural development' of homegrown talent. Growing they are looking to do, they have a stock of seeds (draft assets) in the bank, and have completed the most extreme flip in NSL history. Will the former kingdom be constructed?
13	27	10	Por	3-9	Coercion- Who says a murder weapon needs to be a physical tool? This mastermind has been killing the league for years and somehow keeps getting away with it. While the Blazers aren't at the top of this list, they're plotting and scheming and will almost certainly be back up there in a short period of time after going into hiding this season. Who knows who the next victim will be and who knows who will pull the trigger, but once the full story is told we will probably find out the Blazers had a hand in it.
12	25	18	Por	4-8	Portland Trail Blazers "Graduation Song" – Vitamin C(1992) Known more for its use at graduation ceremonies, the song has become pigeonholed. Portland have been maligned of late too, mainly through annoyance and trade block/trade talk appearances. The Blazers have all the nutrients and vitamins they need to simmer out of the discussions and look towards the draft. GM JMac has been relentless in his flipping of his assets, and as we go on we remember each of those players - “Roll the in-memorium”
11	27	12	Por	3-9	Portland Trail Blazers: The Ghoul Horde 💀🩸 Why? The Trail Blazers shamble like a pack of ravenous Ghouls – undead scavengers who overwhelm foes with frenzied aggression, opportunistic strikes, and a hunger to feast on the weak. Their roster lacks a true alpha, but their collective desperation and youthful energy mirror the Ghoul’s paralyzing chaos. Ghoul Patriarch (Bradley Beal) 🧟♂️: Beal is the decaying pack leader, lurching into action with mid-range jumpers and erratic bursts of scoring. Ravenous Pack (Mid-Tier Hunters): Jaden Ivey and Keegan Murray nip at ankles with raw speed and untamed potential. Ivey’s drives are feral lunges; Murray’s threes are gnarled claws raking from the shadows. Rotting Flesh (Depth): Marvin Bagley III and Jarace Walker lumber like half-decayed thralls, gobbling rebounds and clogging lanes. Rookie Ulrich Chomche is a skeletal fledgling, gnawing at scraps of playing time.
10	25	15	Por	3-9	The Trailblazers (Louis and Clarke) - As a history nut, I love a good story, even better a story of immense brain, and idiocy. Louis and Clark were ultimately successful and unsuccessful at the same time - they managed to achieve in the pursuit of developing expansion from East to West. Everything in between with both hilarious and disastrous. This smells of Portland this year - they have been glamourous in the pursuits of expanding their personal empire and creating new pathways for untapped exploration. Louis and Clark found it tough going, largely leaning on the efforts of Native Americans, who largely pittied the 'explorers'. This is where comparison ends - no one pitties the Portland Trailblazers; they have chartered their course and know all the means to do it.
9	27	6	Por	2-10	Ramsey Bolton - Another brilliantly portrayed characters, whose sick and twisted mind was on full display when he brutally tortured and moulded Theon into his own little pet, Reke. His demise came in a fitting fashion, by another one that he had his fun tormenting in Sansa Stark. Side note; if anyone has watched another show, The Misfits, the actor is great in that too!
8	21	28	Por	4-8
7	23	27	Por	4-8	Goldilocks - Portland A curious troublemaker, with impeccable survival instincts.Portland have a ‘just right’ situation here. They continue to make moves and decisions to benefit their future. This season is the making of them, as they continue to search for the glamorous side of trades - poised to win the Flagg Sweepstakes. Portland sit 24th in the Power Rankings, and are happy to break into the house of anyone without fear. Don’t be suckered in by the golden curls, this little girl isn’t here for a casual visit, she has trouble on her mind.
6	26	16	Por	3-9	Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story) - The iconic character that symbolises Pixar along with Woody, Buzz Lightyear was built to perform at the highest level. Buzz felt he was born to be important, born to be the best and born to save the world (from the evil emperor, Zurg). Buzz was the coolest toy in the room. He himself thought that anything was possible, and that he could never be bested. However, through his interactions with others and difficult circumstances that present, Buzz's mortality is confirmed and his ego and perception of himself is ripped apart (like his arm). "DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME, I'M MRS NESBITT!" He can't do the things he once (thought he) could. He couldn't command the same audience, couldn't fight all the battles on his own. However, what he learned over time was that being a part of a collective provides much more possibility and fulfullment than standing opposite, on your own.
5	26	14	Por	3-9	The Death Entity (Final Destination) - What do you say about this team…? The Portland Trailblazers are a dominant, unstoppable force, like the Death Entity that relentlessly pursues its victims, no matter how they try to avoid their fate. The Trailblazers wait in the wings - waiting to feast on the fate of the league. A powerful and relentless organisation; an inescapable force—once they start rolling, it’s hard to stop them. The currently sit idle with a record of 3-9, boosting their future prospects and stashing talent. “Death doesn’t take no for an answer.”
4	26	24	Por	4-8	Jordan Belfort - The Wolf of Wall Street. Based on a true story, this larger than life character is a captivating watch. Belfort who is a self made man, who changed the wall street industry by bending a lot of the rules. The ever-growing wealth led to more and bigger shenanigans. The accumulation of wealth by Belfort by ripping of people on the stock market, kind of reminds me of Portland ripping of people on the trade market and somehow getting at least a first no matter who he is sending out.
3	16	45	Por	6-7	Blazers finished week 3 with a 6-7 record. Which is fitting given that they also acquire 6-7 first round picks every few weeks.
2	18	31	Por	4-5	"Rich Girl"- Hall and Oates- Just flip it from girl to guy for this analogy, nobody is richer in the league than JMac with 1st round pick totals getting close to 30, he also has a decent team and they're not some bottom feeders like he acted they would be.
1	20	15	Por	2-3	Portland are just making up the numbers and wagging their tail at anything that shows interest in making some trades. Fans are very excited about Jaden Ivey, Keegan Murray and Anthony Black; the youngsters are ushering in the first ever rebuild era for Portland (in any of the leagues).