Week 13 Rumor Mill

[edited by JonathanJ182]

TEAM RUMOR

At some point someone is going to trade for Jerami Grant, right? Son of Harvey, nephew of Horace. Anyone taking him?

Police recently showed up in the Pelicans locker room to arrest Karlo Matkovic. The crime? Impersonating an NBA player.

Spencer Jones believes himself to be the catalyst for the Kings recent success, having said recently "I'm the alpha and omega of this team. Look how bad they were before bringing me in here."

Kyrie no longer believes the earth is flat. He also no longer believes that Jarret Allen is ONLY 6'9.

The year is 2025 and DeAndre Jordan and Taj Gibson are SHOCKED to have contributing roles on the best team in the league.

In a surprising turn of events, CJ McCollum was recently quoted as saying "I don't want to win 6th Man of The Year. Give it to Collin Sexton"

JJJ in an active battle against Brook Lopez to see which big man can grab the least amount of rebounds per 36

As the sole player on the team over the age of 30, Tobias Harris has been tasked with the responsibility of buying alcohol for Ron Holland and AJ Johnson

On his 3rd team this season, DFS is really looking forward to sitting around watching KD and Steph do all the work while he stands in the corner never touching the ball

Josh Richardson and Chuma Okeke recently started a podcast called "Are We Really Here?" where they discuss whether or not they're actually rostered.

At 10 games below .500, the Pistons inch closer to trade deadlines decisions. Do they hold pat? Push for the play-in, or are they sellers? Lot of conflicting reports out there as the GM keeps his lips sealed.

As they make a push for definitive playoff seeding, Denver may be on the prowl for some PF depth

Stuck in the never ending cycles of trade blocks, David Roddy is wondering when someone is actually going to want to keep him

After acquiring Jabari Smith Jr, Dallas CLAIMS to be done wheeling and dealing until the offseason.

Lakers undefeated since acquiring Cory Joseph. Is this anything?

Jaden Springer on the block for Philly. Apparently can be had for cheap. Meaning, Ben wants a 2029 2nd.

After seeing his shadow right before week 13 began, Herb Jones has decided that it only made sense to appear in some games for Phoenix. Sadly, starting next week, Herb will retreat back his cave for hibernation until next season.

Massive if true: Is Jevon Carter on the move?

Bucks catching some heat for making what many call "lateral" moves. Dort and Toppin eager to prove everyone wrong.

Avdija has underperformed since joining the Cavs. Could there be some buyers remorse in the near future?

KAT is aware of all the clips circulating of his reactions to being fouled. His response: "Ohh myyyy godddd"

Zach LaVine, Brandon Ingram and Lauri Markkanen are currently competing to see which one of them can give up the most points to their opposition. Much to the chagrin of GM Breece.

D-Lo happy to be in Minnesota. Really excited about the opportunity to compete for a championship. When asked about it, D-Lo had this to say: "I'm here to win a ring and sign a big ass contract extension this summer. The mf's better pay me what I deserve"

JMAC was allegedly club hopping recently (per TMZ) and was offering really attractive women one of his first round picks in exchange for a dance. Needless to say it didn't work.

GM Toby seen pulling out all his hair after losing 3 games straight. Word on the street is he hasn't slept in weeks because of much the Celtics have underperformed.

Coby White and Grady Dick checked in together after a timeout of a recent game. Broadcast team couldn't help but to make "white dick" jokes. They have since been fired and replaced with AI.

Guard depth used to be a strength for the Bulls. However, its been 8 weeks since the 4 headed beast of LaMelo, Suggs, Sexton and Jerome have all been healthy at the same time. Cause for concern leading up to the trade deadline? Maybe.

Joel Embiid may be on the market. Will his chronic knee injuries deter potential suitors?

Harrison Barnes is joining his 9th team in 6 years. When asked about it, he simply quoted The Fresh Prince of Bel Air....."Why don't they want me, man?"

GM Yeet seen visiting dark occult leaders. Apparently trying real dark and evil methods of bringing Wemby back from injury.

TEAM	RUMOR
	At some point someone is going to trade for Jerami Grant, right? Son of Harvey, nephew of Horace. Anyone taking him?
	Police recently showed up in the Pelicans locker room to arrest Karlo Matkovic. The crime? Impersonating an NBA player.
	Spencer Jones believes himself to be the catalyst for the Kings recent success, having said recently "I'm the alpha and omega of this team. Look how bad they were before bringing me in here."
	Kyrie no longer believes the earth is flat. He also no longer believes that Jarret Allen is ONLY 6'9.
	The year is 2025 and DeAndre Jordan and Taj Gibson are SHOCKED to have contributing roles on the best team in the league.
	In a surprising turn of events, CJ McCollum was recently quoted as saying "I don't want to win 6th Man of The Year. Give it to Collin Sexton"
	JJJ in an active battle against Brook Lopez to see which big man can grab the least amount of rebounds per 36
	As the sole player on the team over the age of 30, Tobias Harris has been tasked with the responsibility of buying alcohol for Ron Holland and AJ Johnson
	On his 3rd team this season, DFS is really looking forward to sitting around watching KD and Steph do all the work while he stands in the corner never touching the ball
	Josh Richardson and Chuma Okeke recently started a podcast called "Are We Really Here?" where they discuss whether or not they're actually rostered.
	At 10 games below .500, the Pistons inch closer to trade deadlines decisions. Do they hold pat? Push for the play-in, or are they sellers? Lot of conflicting reports out there as the GM keeps his lips sealed.
	As they make a push for definitive playoff seeding, Denver may be on the prowl for some PF depth
	Stuck in the never ending cycles of trade blocks, David Roddy is wondering when someone is actually going to want to keep him
	After acquiring Jabari Smith Jr, Dallas CLAIMS to be done wheeling and dealing until the offseason.
	Lakers undefeated since acquiring Cory Joseph. Is this anything?
	Jaden Springer on the block for Philly. Apparently can be had for cheap. Meaning, Ben wants a 2029 2nd.
	After seeing his shadow right before week 13 began, Herb Jones has decided that it only made sense to appear in some games for Phoenix. Sadly, starting next week, Herb will retreat back his cave for hibernation until next season.
	Massive if true: Is Jevon Carter on the move?
	Bucks catching some heat for making what many call "lateral" moves. Dort and Toppin eager to prove everyone wrong.
	Avdija has underperformed since joining the Cavs. Could there be some buyers remorse in the near future?
	KAT is aware of all the clips circulating of his reactions to being fouled. His response: "Ohh myyyy godddd"
	Zach LaVine, Brandon Ingram and Lauri Markkanen are currently competing to see which one of them can give up the most points to their opposition. Much to the chagrin of GM Breece.
	D-Lo happy to be in Minnesota. Really excited about the opportunity to compete for a championship. When asked about it, D-Lo had this to say: "I'm here to win a ring and sign a big ass contract extension this summer. The mf's better pay me what I deserve"
	JMAC was allegedly club hopping recently (per TMZ) and was offering really attractive women one of his first round picks in exchange for a dance. Needless to say it didn't work.
	GM Toby seen pulling out all his hair after losing 3 games straight. Word on the street is he hasn't slept in weeks because of much the Celtics have underperformed.
	Coby White and Grady Dick checked in together after a timeout of a recent game. Broadcast team couldn't help but to make "white dick" jokes. They have since been fired and replaced with AI.
	Guard depth used to be a strength for the Bulls. However, its been 8 weeks since the 4 headed beast of LaMelo, Suggs, Sexton and Jerome have all been healthy at the same time. Cause for concern leading up to the trade deadline? Maybe.
	Joel Embiid may be on the market. Will his chronic knee injuries deter potential suitors?
	Harrison Barnes is joining his 9th team in 6 years. When asked about it, he simply quoted The Fresh Prince of Bel Air....."Why don't they want me, man?"
	GM Yeet seen visiting dark occult leaders. Apparently trying real dark and evil methods of bringing Wemby back from injury.