Week 9 Rumor Mill

[edited by breece]

TEAM RUMOR

NSL Doncic questions life choices resulting in existential crisis, as news from parralel universe is received about NBA Doncic - 'is this real life!?'

GM Klemm rumoured to have provided Tyler Herro anything he wants, leaked audio - “escorts, drugs, guns, whatever you need to keep doing your thing!”

Half time team talk a miss for Nikola Jokic, as he watched horses. “I will be fine. I need to watch A Majestic Prancer in Race 4!”

76ers set to be without 3 forwards, including new acquisition, as well as star guard? "When will the injuries stop!"

The team known to be stocked at the wing spot after the latest trade, they are actively working the phones looking for PG talent - 'spare a point guard,'

In a shocking expose, recently departing Oso Ighodaro has released a scathing video detailing his disgust at being sent to another team, as well as the abrasive method of his departure and relationship with his former GM Nels. Along with this video was two diss tracks titled 'Oso I Go!', and 'Happy Birthday, Not!'

In a continued effort to spark joy, the Memphis Grizzlies brought in locker-room guy, Jay Huff. In being asked about the Grizzlies newly adopted Marie Kondo ethos, he said 'I did it in Atlanta, I can do it here. Believe is more than a sign. Win or lose, we do it with dignity.' Which soon after was picked up as plagarism from popular tv show, Ted Lasso.

World organisations for human rights have been seen visiting the Portland Trailblazers training facilities, as rumours continue about the potential risk the players face with a list of injuries resembling a triage at the hospital. "We do not have anything to hide, do we boys..." - GM JMac while holding a hammer.

In a recent statement to the media, GM Yeet said 'All players in Indiana are expendable........ except you Victor' - who at the time was seen to be lovingly looking down toward the general manager.

After public broadcasting of the team's roster as the stock market was revealed, players were seen picketing outside Atlanta Hawks HQ - chants and signs were heard and read - 'We are not stocks!" "We want change Quickley!" "Dick Up, not Down!"

A supersticious GM Dylan riding high off the back of an 8 game win streak in Toronto, burst through the training gym doors on Sunday in Kramer style shouting - 'Nobody move! Nobody change ANYTHING!'

Reports have been revealed, after a 20 point loss to the Pelicans, GM Daz sat down with Santi Aldama post-game after his recording of 2 rebounds, throwing a ball for him to catch... upon dropping the ball several times from two-metres away, the general manager was overheard muttering '...on the block, on the block'

Jalen Brunson's name has found trade blocks and rumours are that the organisation and him have found little to no progress in rectifying issues, Brunson was seen at training with the reserves performing Jimmy Butler impersonations - "You f***ing need me!"

To save on costs, Dallas Mavericks GM LJ has organised for D'Anthony Melton to be roll in his hosital bed from San Antonio to Dallas - the organisation would like to set a record for the longest hospital bed roll - 273 miles. The Guiness World Records refused to comment on the legitimacy of the attempt.

Brook Lopez reveals plans to open a real estate company - Lopez & Lopez with his brothers. Having found himself finding a new home in Boston - his 9th house in the NSL.

GM Laddas and the city of Phoenix present KCP with key to the city - ' I was never a Net, inside always beat the heart of a Sun,' Which was the same thing he had previously stated as a Raptor.

TEAM	RUMOR
	NSL Doncic questions life choices resulting in existential crisis, as news from parralel universe is received about NBA Doncic - '*is this real life!?'*
	GM Klemm rumoured to have provided Tyler Herro anything he wants, leaked audio - “*escorts, drugs, guns, whatever you need to keep doing your thing!”*
	Half time team talk a miss for Nikola Jokic, as he watched horses. “*I will be fine. I need to watch A Majestic Prancer in Race 4!”*
	76ers set to be without 3 forwards, including new acquisition, as well as star guard? "When will the injuries stop!"
	The team known to be stocked at the wing spot after the latest trade, they are actively working the phones looking for PG talent - '*spare a point guard,'*
	In a shocking expose, recently departing Oso Ighodaro has released a scathing video detailing his disgust at being sent to another team, as well as the abrasive method of his departure and relationship with his former GM Nels. Along with this video was two diss tracks titled 'Oso I Go!', and 'Happy Birthday, Not!'
	In a continued effort to *spark joy, the Memphis Grizzlies brought in locker-room guy, Jay Huff. In being asked about the Grizzlies newly adopted Marie Kondo ethos, he said 'I did it in Atlanta, I can do it here. Believe is more than a sign. Win or lose, we do it with dignity.'* Which soon after was picked up as plagarism from popular tv show, Ted Lasso.
	World organisations for human rights have been seen visiting the Portland Trailblazers training facilities, as rumours continue about the potential risk the players face with a list of injuries resembling a triage at the hospital. "We do not have anything to hide, do we boys..." - GM JMac while holding a hammer.
	In a recent statement to the media, GM Yeet said 'All players in Indiana are expendable........ except you Victor' - who at the time was seen to be lovingly looking down toward the general manager.
	After public broadcasting of the team's roster as the stock market was revealed, players were seen picketing outside Atlanta Hawks HQ - chants and signs were heard and read - '*We are not stocks!" "We want change Quickley!" "Dick Up, not Down!"*
	A supersticious GM Dylan riding high off the back of an 8 game win streak in Toronto, burst through the training gym doors on Sunday in Kramer style shouting - '*Nobody move! Nobody change ANYTHING!'*
	Reports have been revealed, after a 20 point loss to the Pelicans, GM Daz sat down with Santi Aldama post-game after his recording of 2 rebounds, throwing a ball for him to catch... upon dropping the ball several times from two-metres away, the general manager was overheard muttering '...on the block, on the block'
	Jalen Brunson's name has found trade blocks and rumours are that the organisation and him have found little to no progress in rectifying issues, Brunson was seen at training with the reserves performing Jimmy Butler impersonations - *"You fing need me!"**
	To save on costs, Dallas Mavericks GM LJ has organised for D'Anthony Melton to be roll in his hosital bed from San Antonio to Dallas - the organisation would like to set a record for the longest hospital bed roll - 273 miles. The Guiness World Records refused to comment on the legitimacy of the attempt.
	Brook Lopez reveals plans to open a real estate company - Lopez & Lopez with his brothers. Having found himself finding a new home in Boston - his 9th house in the NSL.
	GM Laddas and the city of Phoenix present KCP with key to the city - ' I was never a Net, inside always beat the heart of a Sun,' Which was the same thing he had previously stated as a Raptor.

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		Comments (1)
KLEMMELO 02/01 04:35 am	Anything for my All Star studded Boi (L)

	WAS	118
	CLE	105

	MIN	92
	SA	113

	CLE	108
	WAS	119

	SA	99
	MIN	104

	WAS	103
	CLE	107

Week 9 Rumor Mill

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