The season that was: Absolutely unmemorable.

The Lakers sauntered through the first ever NSL season and no one seemed to notice. Sure, Westbrook got his accolades for leading the league (or close to it) in many statistical categories, but the other Lakers players... most other GMs wouldn’t even know who was on the team.

Tell yourself the Lakers starting five, right now, before moving on. I bet you can’t.

They finished sixth in the West and were rewarded with a first round exit against the Sacramento Kings, who would go on to make the West Finals. However, this vanilla mediocrity was overshadowed by the mid-season firing of their long-time GM greenmig, due to concerns that he might not have ever actually been the NSL GM of the Lakers.

Useless would be an accurate way to describe the tenure. Rookie GM P.J. was hired to steer the Lakers forward. Hello?


Best player: Without a doubt, real-life Russell Westbrook is a polarising figure when it comes to basketball fans. Some adore his reckless abandon and his unrelenting confidence and some loathe it, unable to escape the glaring inefficiencies and warts on his game. True Westy fans will quote triple-doubles and point out the multiple highlight plays he achieves each game. Wherever you sit, you sit somewhere when it comes to your opinion on Russ.



But in the NSL in 2021, Westy will continue to be Beastbrook, a flash of muscle and will who is constantly attacking the rack, constantly disrupting the passing lanes and making every other player’s athleticism look sluggish. He is the heart and soul of the Lakers team and without him, on any given night, they might be lucky to beat any of the other 29 NSL teams. Expect him to put up huge numbers in all of the counting stats, including turnovers. Fuck efficiency!


Breakout candidate: Nickell Alexander-Walker

The sophomore didn’t have a huge role with the Lakers, but continues to show flashes in the NBA that make it seem like he will be a handy scorer and impact player in the future. The Lakers bench is dearth of talent and depth, so maybe this is the season he punches his ticket to 20 minutes a night.

A difference maker: GM P.J.

Positive change has to be organisation-wide and must start from the top. P.J., take off the tracksuit, put on a shirt and tie and get into the office and start making the Lakers something – anything! Right now, they are the auto-generated 2k rookie of NSL teams.




Draft recap: I am absolute peasant when it comes to draft analysis, so I will leave it to the experts (they were given a B):

LA Lakers:

Pick 20: Kira Lewis
Pick 50: Saben Lee
Pick 54: CJ Elleby

All 3 of these picks are “value” if you take the NBA draft as the gospel, but there’s probably a reason each guy slipped in this league. Not to say we’re smarter than the NBA, but I think all 3 have legit concerns. Lewis looks like he might never hold his own on any end of the court physically, but he’s super quick and can score, so he’s got a shot. Lee like Kira, is super quick and can get anywhere he wants on the court, but his frame and his inconsistent shooting are concerns. Will that ever click into a spot in the NBA? Elleby was 86 ranked on ESPN prior to the NBA draft, but got drafted 46 as a 20 year old with upside and not much else in the way of scouting. He’d probably be the best case for Mr. Irrelevant in our league based on that.

Salary situation: If they bring Marcus Morris back, which is likely, the team salary will be a shade over 150M committed to about ten players. Round that up to about 160M with a full roster. For cheddar like that, you’d hope to be playing sure-fire playoff basketball and not getting late-lottery picks.

What do they need to do next? A pulse.

‘Who is Keyzer Soze?!’

Get out the defib, the Lakers need reviving. This team appears destined to ride the mediocrity treadmill until Westbrook retires or leaves the team. Westy is still elite in 2k and an absolute handful for other teams to contain. However, there are so many strong teams in the NSL that have this team covered as it is compiled – Westy, Harris, Valancuinas, Morris, Hardaway Jr and role players. If they want to try and compete, they need to part with some picks and get some more mercenaries into the purp’ and yellow. If they want to rebuild, move some vets. Just shit or get off the pot.

P.J. needs to write down the NSL website and check out the ‘offer trades’ tab. Or maybe, get a log in and password first.

Win/loss predictions: I see this team being ran back pretty much exactly the same, with similar results. The West playoffs race will likely see the Lakers fall somewhere from 6-8, but if management continues to pay no attention to the team, I think they miss the playoffs. They’re likely to finish around 48 wins.

GM synopsis: ‘Who is Keyzer Soze?!’

Has anyone actually met this bloke yet? Apparently he showed up on discord once, but it’s become something of an urban legend as to who this is, if it is a person. Is it greenmig under another alias? Is it Klemm’s burner account?



The poor Lakers have gone from one asleep-at-the-wheel GM to another. We can only hope that P.J. finds the time to get an internet connection and make himself known. The Lakers fans demand it!