Charlotte NC, (Reuters) In a move that is both shocking and typical. Team Owner Michael Jeffrey Jordan has dusted off a veteran GM to take the helm of his Charlotte Hornets. The Hornets new GM Craig B formally known as ProID is a 15-year veteran that has had moderate success in multiple stops. But flamed out so fantastically in his last gig that it was rumored that he had a nervous breakdown and moved to a tropical island somewhere in the south pacific about 3 years ago.
Its not uncommon for people that have left the game for a few years to find that when they return the game has left them behind. This is something of an odd choice for a new GM but typical of the erratic decision making that has plagued Jordan as an owner. Craig’s GM style favors veterans over youth development which flies in the face of the team’s current make up and could potentially ruffle the feathers of a certain star player. The Press conference provided more questions than answers and fans are unsure if they should be rejoicing or apprehensive.
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Spectrum Center – Press conference
MJ, Luka Doncic Coach Borrego and Craig B are seated at the table.
MJ: First I would like to thank you all for coming to this press conference. The Charlotte Hornets are pleased to announce the hiring of Craig B. as our new General Manager and President of Basketball operations. Questions?
The room explodes into murmuring as all the reporters try and talk at once. MJ points to a middle-aged guy in the 3rd row wearing classic horn-rimmed bifocal spectacles with a piece of tape over the bridge holding them together.
Specs: MJ, what happened to Nic, did you fire him?
MJ: We are very appreciative of the foundation Nic has put in place here and we were extremely excited about the future. Nobody was more surprised than me when he stepped down abruptly. We wish him well and future success in all his endeavors.
MJ points to another reporter a woman in her late 20’s early 30’s wearing a red and green polka dot blouse accented with a purple silk scarf and Nike earrings.
Polka Dots: MJ, what is really going on here? You preached patience at the start of the season and before the off season can start. Nic has vanished and you bring in this, this discombobulated burnout of a GM, we deserver…
Craig B interrupts the rant before it can go any further.
Craig B: Whoa! Hang on their little momma. You might need to slow down before I tell Kwame that you stole his Grandma’s outfit. (the other reporters giggle a bit but Craig keeps talking) Nic is a really good friend of mine and he would tell you himself that there is no other GM out there that is better qualified to carry on and expand on his vision. So lets keep the questions constructive. Next.
Another reporter who inexplicable is wearing a Miami Heat cap, a Nets jersey and Utah Jazz arm band speaks up and says.
Fan Boy: Well are you that guy really? I mean are you the best man for the job of running the Hornets?
Craig B: Are you kidding me? Does a fat kid like cake? Is Donald Trump an insufferable prick? This franchise is in a particularly good position to take a leap forward. I may not have the patience for player development that Nic has. However, I can see where this team can move forward at an accelerated pace and get the fans and the organization as a whole fired up. From my point of view the future is now!
Polka Dots: Ok, if I may ask. I believe what everyone wants to know is with your history of shipping out youth and favoring old veterans do you plan to trade Luka?
Craig B: Absolutely not. Lil Dicky is the cornerstone in the foundation that this franchise will build its legacy on. Even though he is on his rookie deal I cannot sit back and just wait for everyone to catch up. I need to be active in making sure that everyone is onboard with the plan. No, I am not going to clean house. But I will be active in looking for the additional talent that can help move forward as well put every player on the roster to in position to be productive in their roles and grow with the franchise.
Fan Boy: So is that a guarantee that we will make the playoffs next season?
Craig B: Well we were only 2 wins out from the playoffs this season. So I can guarantee that we will win more games than this past season. Just a matter of building on the progress that has been made so far.
Specs: Do you have any specific plans for the draft?
Craig B: Right now its too early to say. Once the lottery comes to pass then we will know what we are working with and we can start looking at options. Weather that is additional scouting or make a deal of some sort.
Polka Dots: If you are not going to trade Luka why are you shopping for a PG via trade?
Craig: (sighing deeply) Your questions always seem to come off a little accusatory you think? The reason we are shopping for a PG is to give Lil Dicky more time off the ball. With the right primary ballhandler he can be more effective on the perimeter wondering around on the perimeter keeping the defense honest because they have to account for his presence. And with that, its going to be all for now. Thanks for attending and see you all next week.
At that moment everyone started getting notifications on their phones.
Specs: Hold up everybody!! The league just announced two major trades by the Charlotte Hornets.
AS all eyes turn to Craig, who suddenly found something very interesting on the floor to look at.
Polka Dots: (glaring at him) You are here at a press conference and didn’t bother to announce that you had pushed two trade deals already?
Craig: (In his Thor voice) Yes, of course I did. I am in charge. Details are forthcoming.
He then strolled out of the room leaving everyone baffled. AS all eyes fell on Luka
Lil Dicky: Don’t look at me. He hasn’t said a word to me yet.
Shocked at yet another revelation, the reporters and Hornets support staff file out to ponder what kind of madness the new GM has in store for their beloved Hornets.
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