NBA SIMS LEAGUE PLAYER OF THE WEEK WATCH - Week 17
| PLAYER | TEAM | WHY | STATS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
 | PER 36.94 |  Eastern 0-4 | Because the man saw "washed" in a Twitter reply and decided to drop 50 on 80% shooting just to ruin someone’s timeline. Meanwhile, NBA defenses: "We double-teamed him and bro still hit a contested fadeaway from the parking lot." | 31.8 PTS 6.3 REB 2.8 AST 0.3 STL 1.8 BLK |
 | PER 29.00 |  Eastern 2-2 | Because the man treats NBA defenses like AAU highlights—"Y’all just part of the mixtape now." Meanwhile, opponents fouling him at the logo: "Wait, he wasn’t serious about that sh—OH GOD." | 37.5 PTS 4.8 REB 6.3 AST 1.0 STL 1.3 BLK |
 | PER 35.07 |  Eastern 2-2 | "Why does LeBron have to be Player of the Week? Because Father Time never came and he keeps replying ‘still dunking.’ Meanwhile, the rest of the NBA: ‘Can’t y’all just let him retire so we can have a turn?’ | 42.8 PTS 8.5 REB 4.0 AST 1.5 STL 0.5 BLK |
 | PER 33.88 |  Eastern 2-2 | Because the man saw "MVP candidate" trending and decided to remind everyone he’s still Boston’s problem. Meanwhile, the rest of the league: "Bro really hits one clutch shot and suddenly the Celtics are unbeatable again." | 39.3 PTS 5.8 REB 2.0 AST 1.3 STL 0.3 BLK |
 | PER 33.22 |  Eastern 3-1 | Because the man moves in silky smooth slow motion, then drops 30 on you like it was nothing. Meanwhile, the rest of the league: "Bro really just cooked us in a hoodie and skinny jeans." | 37.0 PTS 5.0 REB 4.8 AST 2.5 STL 1.3 BLK |
 | PER 39.22 |  Western 2-3 | Because the man saw "washed scorer" trending and decided to torch defenses like it’s 2021 all over again—just to remind you he’s still got the flamethrower. Meanwhile, Merencio: Throwing rocks at the lake. How could you... HOW COULD YOU SIGN WITH UTAH?!? | 39.0 PTS 2.8 REB 2.6 AST 0.4 STL 0.4 BLK |
 | PER 35.19 |  Western 2-2 | Because the Rookie-Sophomore scale was too easy, so he decided to son veterans instead. Meanwhile, defenders guarding him: "Wait… he’s 6’10", handles like a guard, AND has a mid-range game? That’s illegal." | 37.3 PTS 10.0 REB 4.8 AST 1.8 STL 0.8 BLK |
 | PER 31.71 |  Western 2-2 | Because the man saw "slowest MVP ever" and decided to drop a 25/12/10 stat line in casual dad-at-the-YMCA mode. Meanwhile, defenses trying to guard him: "Why is this unstoppable Serbian grandpa either no-look passing through my soul or hitting hook shots like it’s 1982?" | 29.3 PTS 22.3 REB 7.0 AST 1.3 STL 1.0 BLK |
 | PER 46.72 |  Western 3-1 | Because the Greek Freak saw "he can't shoot" trending and decided to bulldoze the entire league in 3 strides anyway. Meanwhile, defenses in the paint: "How many vocals his name has? Anttokououopnmop?" | 52.0 PTS 10.3 REB 4.5 AST 1.0 STL 3.0 BLK |
 | PER 41.87 |  Western 3-1 | Because the man saw "regular season doesn’t matter" and took it as a personal challenge to drop 40 on your favorite team while wearing a bucket hat on the bench. Meanwhile, opponents realizing it’s April: "Wait, why is he suddenly playing like it’s Game 7 of the Finals?!" | 34.5 PTS 5.3 REB 4.0 AST 1.5 STL 0.8 BLK |